Narcissists' Greatest Fear. Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: A strong you. A you that no longer does what you’re supposed to do (according to them). You’re supposed to do what they want, so they get what they want. That’s why they invested all that time in you in the first place.
But then you suddenly stop behaving the way you did before? You stop responding emotionally at all to anything anymore? You don’t even seem to acknowledge their existence at all anymore? When they once held so much sway over your heart and mind and they knew it?
How dare you?
You are becoming strong and putting an end to it all and their inability to wiggle their way back in makes them very very angry at first. Then it simply terrifies them to their core. Because it means they are powerless, they aren’t important, they’re worthless...
They don’t exist.
For a person who doesn’t have a sense of self, that is an utterly terrifying feeling. Sure, you’re easily replaced by other supply that gets them through their days. They move on, and get puffed up elsewhere - supply is everywhere and comes in many forms - but, still... It can eat away at them that they can’t seem to pull you back in. Especially if they have to see you regularly (as in my case, at work). Why aren’t you responding? They need to get you to do what they want, and to be affected by them.
When you reject a narcissist they are forced to confront their own emptiness and nothing scares them more than that.
A strong you to them means that they are less than. And they can never ever be less than. They are powerless when their whole life revolves around getting power over other people. Feeling a deep sense of powerlessness in their childhood is what turned them into a narcissist in the first place, remember. You’re poking at a core wound. That’s why it’s so scary for them.
What is possible, however, is honestly asking yourself whether it is worth it — and at what cost — to spend a minute more than necessary around an unhealthy narcissistic person.
If you want them afraid, work on developing a strong you. And once you get there, you’ll find that the strong you will be too busy and engaged in your own life to spend any energy on trying to scare them. They will simply disappear into the background of your past, as you continue to rise up, manifesting all the new colourful possibilities that lay ahead of you.
I hope that this blog has given you some empowerment and etter underatdning that you do have the power inside of you to comabt this. thsi doesnt have to be your same old thinking style, you can break through this. Let me know your thoughts...
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