Many people spend so many waking hours at work, that their interactions with their boss, the way they feel about their performance, and their external feedback about this can be very important to their overall mental health and self-esteem level.
Narcissists develop a hunger for power and attention and will excel in this area because thats what motivates them in all areas of their lives, so they will do whatever they can to get to that point. Narcissism refers to an egoistic mode of existing in the world. The smarter you become about your narcissistic boss, the less power your boss will have.
The trait components of Narcissism
This trait refers to a person’s need for centre of attention and willingness to ensure thatchy are the centre of attention - even at the expense of the needs of others. A person with a high standing on exhibitionism might take up coworkers time explaining something about themselves that serve to only benefit the narcissist - to get attentional and emotional supply.
This trait refers to how willing a person is to exploit others in order to meet hi sir her own goals. Exploiting could take many forms such as stealing ideas from others, asking coworkers to do some of your work when you are overloaded and borrowing money without replaying.
Vanity refers to a belief in ones own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others, thereby fitting the usual definition of being vain. That their ideas or work os far more superior than other coworkers because the narcissist is in competition with everyone - to be the best, hierarchical value of needs.
This trait refers to the expectation of the amount of entitlement a person has in his for her life. In this context entitlement refers to unreasonable expectations of favourable treatment or automatic compliance with ones expectations.
Other behaviours that may be experienced in the workplace:
Insistence on being “right” all the time.
May quickly swing from one extreme of treating you like the best employee on the planet, and the next moment may be threatening to fire you in front of the board of directors, and back again based on their current mood and how they feel about you in the moment..
Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy”.
Lack of object constancy, (for example: when they are angry at you, they may act as if they cannot remember any previous positive feelings towards you and/or your work, and may even threaten to fire you anytime they are angry with you).
In need of constant admiration, combined with extreme avoidance and/or punitive behaviour when they do not feel appropriately admired, feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.
Often comparing employees, which may even look like pitting them against one another inadvertently or purposely, often creating divisiveness, resentment, and a lack of cohesion among employees who are often solely focused on saving their own job.
May be extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or even their own boss.
Your boss treats staff like they are dispensable.
Your boss uses fear and threats to motivate people to work.
Your boss is obsessed with controlling all outcomes.
Your boss has little empathy for the staff.
Your boss rarely takes responsibility for his errors (and loses people along the way).
To understand what NPD is, it is helpful to understand that the condition is but one of many possible personality disorders. A PD is a pervasive, persistent, inflexible maladaptive pattern of behaviour that deviates from expected cultural norms. The disorder is learned early in life and causes distress to the person and causes conflicts with others.
A personality disorder can also be regarded as a pattern of deviant or abnormal behaviour the individual does not change even thought it causes emotional upsets and difficulties with others in the workplace and in personal relationships.
1. cognition : perception encompasses thinking as well as interpretation of oneself other people and events.
2. Affectivity: included in this are emotional responses in terms of intensity, lability and appropriateness.
3. Interpersonal functions : a person with problems interpersonal functions would have a difficulty getting on with others.
4. Impulsivity : impulsivity relates to not being able to hold back words and actions even if the consequences are severe.
A personality disorder may not always be easy to diagnose, yet the behaviour of the person who appears to have such a disorder is difficult to cope with and is apparent as the cross many personal boundaries.
Ultimately the key here is to understand what NPD is so you can understand what it is that you are dealing with. Then to understand that none of this animosity is personal to you, its just part of their disorder. If this is too much for you then you will need to think of alternative options. In this blog I talk about the options that you may take to remove a narcissist from your workplace (I don't advise it as it will put a spotlight on your performance and work ethics, but if you are prepared for that you will have to understand that you may also lose your job in the process).
Your Thoughts: Have you ever experienced a narcissist bully in your workplace? Were you micro managed? Were you watched all the time?