The narcissist is a creature that craves attention and the desire to get that attention is all consuming of them. That is why the notion of relationship jumping describes this need for attention very accurately. They jump from relationship to relationship leaving every target stunned and bewildered whilst the narcissist thinks nothing of it.
Every relationship continues along the same path, same routine, same formula. The narcissist doesn’t know how to be any different or to look inside themselves. That is why the pattern of engagement will NEVER change. Inside this blog and video series I will be looking into the way that the narcissists behaves and functions within a partnership with another person. What is nit apparent at first quickly develops into a nightmare for the unsuspecting victim.
The narcissists inner world is angry, dark and very insecure full of envy and lacks empathy. They lack internal mechanisms to be able to bond, make connections and make healthy attachments. They feed their extreme external neediness by objectifying their targets to fill a avoid that they feel very single day. There exists a pathological need and an internal drive to have this need met. They cannot function adequately on such a level because of their disordered cognitive processing. Because of this pathology they create chaos, destruction and heartache with their abusive being in the world. Narcissists control others in order for them to feel superior, to feel important, to think they matter to the other person, it is their way to close the gap on their own emptiness. Narcissists want their targets to pay of the misery they feel, the void from life that they cannot ever feel. That is why narcissists abuse their targets, like it is their fault, like they are the ones that need to make it better of the narcissist. The targets are the innocent ones that pay the price of the narcissists pathological hatred. They are empty souls that destroy goodness and people, there is never a real relationship in a narcissists life!
Looking back, I saw the things that were posted about me to shame me all over his social media, what a psycho I am, how mentally unwell I am, how I am to blame for everything that went wrong in that relationship. This was all written for everybody that I knew to see. Alongside that there were pictures posted of how well the narcissist is doing without me, how much better his life is. What he didn’t know was what I saw behind the messages, behind the pictures. His demeanour, his facial expressions and his appearance tells a different story. At the time I was sucked into that circus. What I didn’t get at the time was that all of these messages were posted for me to see so that the attention could be deflected from the reality of how he had abused me. It was as if the narcissist was trying to say look at me and my wonderful life now, without you and I told you that I would leave one day because you are the source of every problem.
But what about the other relationships that proceeded mine with yours? That is the point here, how many failed relationships has had before yours as well as the horrific one that has just ended with you. they bury their pasts with their victims with these messages they send out to try and convince their minions, supporters and flying monkeys that they are the healthy person and all of us (their past targets/victims) were the problem. The narcissists past tells a distorted truth so they can hide the past from their unsuspecting targets/victims, so that they can erase their their past and start again over and over again. Only a fool or an enabling family can’t see the reality of the situation: relationship jumping. Real people have empathy and the narcissist understands this concept all to well that is why they see this as a weakness and exploit it and everyone else around them too. Making them believe the lies.
So every message or post that you may hear or read, this is done to make you feel jealous, hurt, manage you down. Even though the relationship is finished they are still getting to you by hurting you, by abusing you further - they are still initiating a reaction out of you. Then feeding off that emotional energy and emotions that you omit. Its done that way to gain that supply. Its part of the disorder, they don’t know any other way to exist.
So the narcissist repeats the same patterns of engagement throughout every relationship, they will recreate the relationship they had with you because that is the only way they know how to survive. they never learnt from past mistakes, because in their mind they never made any mistakes, it is always your fault. So remember, when you are feeling like you cannot take it anymore that they have somebody new, please remind yourself how distorted this picture really is. You know the reality of this interaction. This is not a relationship, these are love bombing techniques to disarm the target of ever knowing who they really are. They will NEVER be able to have a 'normal' relationship, one where we know how to have because they are unable to connect or attach in a healthy way or any way at all. This disordered behaviour is an insight into their distorted mind. Believe if you knew what was in that mind, you would run and never look back.
I discuss there issues in my LIVE session #9 on YouTube, you can catch here by clicking onto the video. Let me know if you have experienced the narcissist relationship jumping. What did you recognise from your relationship that the narcissist was doing in their current relationship? Is it normal to move on that quickly?