The Holidays are no exeception when it comes to the narcissist playing up and pretending that their Christmas are the best and how much of a good time they are having without you! Please do not be fooled by this staged happiness.
That grandiose, omnipotent and false self is nothing but a concocted and ever-changing role or facade the Narcissist creates so that they fit into our world like puzzle pieces. Christmas is no exception, if anything the antics will be ramped up. Why? Because they want to show what a wonderful time they are having because they are a wonderful person. This is all part of the maintenance of the 'fake facade' - the crux of the disorder.
They create different roles to match the needs of the next AND the next person that they are conning into their world. We are only a reflection in the Narcissist’s many mirrors that reflect that grand image back to them and makes them feel real. The Narcissist is incapable of feeling, or experiencing emotions, love, growth or any human dynamic that involves any type of relationship with another. Relationships to them are a means to an end and that is basically extracting supply or conning people into believing they are real participants so the Narcissist can extort what they can OR use a particular person to gain something that they need. The Narcissist has fully mastered this dynamic or process of conning the world with the ever-changing charades they play with life because the payoff is huge and the only way they can survive in the REAL world. Their image is also important in this process so they APPEAR to be normal, moral and good because they have to keep their personal demons at bay through their projection or the real ugly projection that defines them! They are really great actors that take on whatever role will benefit them the most as far as a payoff! You and I are only bit players that support that role and make them look good until they find that NEW role and new players.
Narcissists are acutely aware of their human counterparts (you and I) and they know emotions, or what YOU are feeling even if they can’t feel it themselves. They have observed people’s reactions to every specific emotion and know how to imitate it to get a desired response, even if they do not experience that emotion themselves. Just look back and understand how they were so amazingly adept at making you believe that they loved you, cared for you, and wanted you to be their ‘one and only’ or life partner, spouse, best friend or whatever it took to con you into their abusive grip to meet ONE of their MANY needs. Everybody that is reading this can’t deny that they strongly BELIEVED in this Narcissist at one time and what they were feeling WAS a bond be it love, caring, friendship, etc. Nor can we deny that we learned the real truth that they are very disordered and essentially abused us.
The narcissist will align him- or herself with individuals who can supply the most reserves for the longest period of time. In other words, victims are often co-dependent, but also intelligent, accomplished and well-liked. They too are living with the after-effects of trauma, but instead of choosing to harm others, they are determined to help. They, too, avoid looking inwardly by dispelling their energy on those around them.
As long as the narcissist continues to receive narcissistic supply from those they’ve targeted, all is well in their world. They can remain in a state of false-peace and contentment. However, they are jolted back to the unacceptable feelings they endured in trauma by the slightest misstep. Therefore, they do not remain contented for long and will inevitably move a relationship from the idealise stage into devalue.
And, outsiders can only supply a narcissist with “happiness” for a brief period of time. Narcissists are constantly on the lookout for new prey for this very reason. Like an addict in search of a drug, a narcissist needs to make sure his supply never runs out. One individual cannot physically or mentally sustain the narcissist’s needs, so eventually, they will be discarded for a fresh target.
So you see there is nothing to worry about and make yourself feel worse. Its an act to have you and the rest of the world fooled. As mentioned in the video:
try journaling to get these negative emotions out into the open, here is my guide to journaling: https://www.balancepsychologies.com/free-resources