Narcissists DO find their ideal victims, and usually they are emotionally giving, very caring, kind, loving and selfless – basically good people like YOU and I.
Generally, people that are centered in life and good natured, AND also loaded with positive empathy, emotionally generous, and unconditional as well. They will bend their boundaries just enough to accommodate the bigger picture, and that is keeping life in a positive direction, working through things, turning the other cheek, etc. There is nothing wrong with that nor should any person be judged or looked down upon as a weak person for these qualities or better yet taken advantage of, bullied and abused for who or what they are. What I am only describing is a good and INTELLIGENT person that strives to keep positive balance in their life. My point here is that there is no label that should be applied to any target/victim as being deserving of abuse from a Narcissist or anybody.
Yes of course there are lessons to be learned after abuse as it concerns creating new boundaries to protect yourself from future abuse. In the real world there is and has to be give and take BUT unfortunately the world of a Narcissist is ‘take and take more,’ or more appropriately con, trap, manipulate, extort, and abuse. It is a learning process that comes post abuse, or after being a target of this hideous situation and what is most important is that you don’t lock up your values and distrust the world. I had boundaries in my life to protect myself from chaotic, dangerous, and bad people – BUT I had no clue that there were people out there capable of tricking me through extreme lies and manipulation, using love to gain my trust and then willfully abusing that trust to extort from me and cause such destruction in my life. Narcissists will always step on and over your boundaries with their extreme trickery and manipulation.
Narcissists will search out people and get a feel for who will dance their dance, play their game and who won’t and that is what makes them purely predatory. So basically these Narcissist’s are surveying, assessing, and interviewing most everybody within their general habitat to find their next SOURCES of supply to prey upon. They seek out and find their primary supply and many other sources of supply on the side. Supply, supply, supply – that is the Narcissist’s ONLY goal and main objective, no real relationship, no real love, or no real future! They are like locusts attacking a field of wheat that they strip bare to satisfy their hunger. They don’t care that it causes the farmer great loss and they don’t miss the wonderful farmer whose crops they feasted upon or even send that farmer a thank you note OR establish closure of any sort – they just move onto the next field to pillage. Realistically a locust doesn’t trick a farmer into loving them, and the farmer is well aware that locusts exist, as well as what they can do to their crops. But that is my point WE didn’t realize that there was a dangerous creature out there that could do this to us with an arsenal of tools to achieve their agenda. The message here is that you CAN’T blame yourself or believe you are a fool – this was situational.
Here is where the big game of manipulation begins. They snuggle right up to your emotions and mimic them to create an amazing connection. Add to the equation that they are charming, intoxicating, AND they seduce their prey into their lair with lies and manipulation. They create a perfect ‘love story’ for us and seriously it is only a story and one written precisely for us and then mother nature does her part. It is a calculated move on the Narcissist’s part to figure out exactly how to find a place in our heart through our minds. They are quite good at it because they have fooled us or better yet conned us into a place where they will take advantage of our trust AND generosity. To a Narcissist it is just another day with no real thought or remorse to any of their adverse actions. They want something, so they go after it and there are no rules or laws that they abide by as it concerns any harm they cause to people. Don’t forget that there is also NO empathy, so they don’t know ‘love’ or even have a clue what it feels like, but interestingly enough they mimic it very well. What an amazing and well thought out plan a Narcissist develops and uses to secure their supply that shouts out PREDATOR!