In my new series THE RED FILES launching tomorrow on my YouTube channel, I talk about what Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is, what to look out for, how to recover from Narcissistic abuse, how does NPD develop in an individual and much more.
So, here is a description of what NPD really is. Of course there are many variations of the concepts in the disorder but here is an outline:
The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. They may also concentrate on grandiose fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment.
These characteristics typically begin in early adulthood and must be consistently evident in multiple contexts, such as at work and in relationships. People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they are superior or special, and often try to associate with other people they believe are unique or gifted in some way. This association enhances their self-esteem, which is typically quite fragile underneath the surface. Individuals with NPD seek excessive admiration and attention in order to know that others think highly of them. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat, and may be left feeling humiliated or empty when they experience an "injury" in the form of criticism or rejection.
It is NOT just simple selfishness it is profound, delusional, and self-serving selfishness the manner in which a narcissist manipulates the world around them to serve their MANY needs. But the key feature of narcissism is that the principle is the very basis of their personality – better yet it is their COMPLETE persona. They tell “themselves” about what happens in every aspect of every situation that crosses their delusional mind. This includes how the Narcissist construes events, how they construe other people, how they construe themselves. Whatever they creatively invent OR “feel” becomes fact with them and then it becomes written in stone. So, what is convenient for them to believe about something is what they believe. It’s a make-believe world of a child with all of their toys laid out in front of them and they play with them in any manner they want to, and rule over and control these toys AND even smash them. It is their fantasy world where everything is an object that they control to meet and feed the fantasy that they create. One toy doesn’t mean any more or less than any other toy – in fact none of them have a particular meaning other than to serve the child.
It also means that narcissists can be profoundly charming. If you have something they want, even if it is just being a good “listening audience” then they can be great fun. The problem comes when normal reality (or our needs) conflicts with their reality of the narcissist’s NEEDS comes first. This is where the phrase “omnipotent” comes from. They are the king or queen of the world, they create it, rule it, govern it, and if you dare break OR question any of their rules or laws you are subject to imprisonment, and punishment. Push them too hard and you may end up in a guillotine about to have your head taken away from you, or better yet abandonment from their world.
Sadly enough in their kingdom they chose subjects to serve them in personal ways. They create “their” version of Narcissistic love that can best be described as creating a relationship that they will allow you to love them if you serve their delusions completely and ask for nothing in return. It is nothing even near love, but surprisingly enough they write a love story for each and every target and act it out to capture the heart and trust of the person they are exploiting. Suddenly, they become utterly unreliable, their promises mean nothing, and companionship means nothing. The basis of the relationship is deception through lies, betrayal, harsh manipulation, constant punishment, and annihilation of the person they allowed to serve them. It is as if they have a general code and standard — their needs come first and we are tricked into this world and then we are discarded because our needs will and do become apparent as they naturally would in any relationship.
Join me on my campaign to raise as much awareness about this subject as possible, as you see NPD causes so much damage to lives of many and educating and informing others will help to prevent the abuse for happening or continuing. The Red Files series available on my YouTube Channel.